As a therapist, here’s why I sometimes advise couples to end their marriage | Nicholas Purcell

Care and attention, the fundamentals to keep relationships alive, are absent from many marriages that survive anywayThe modern mind is a column where experts discuss mental health issues they are seeing in their workI’ve killed every garden I’ve neglected, which is all of them: bring me a struggling houseplant and watch it die. But bring me a struggling marriage, and I will sometimes encourage it back to life. Other times, when the conditions are right, by which I mean when something is wrong, I will kill it. Intentionally. Or, in more professional language, I will advise it to end. Not every plant gets to flower. Not every marriage should be saved.I have come to realise that care and attention, the fundamentals that keep both plants and relationships alive, are absent from many marriages that survive anyway. I call them cactus marriages: alive, but I couldn’t tell you how.Sign up for a weekly email featuring our best reads Continue reading...